22/6/24 • #diary #personal

this entry is untitled because uhh i have no clue what to call it. there's no specific thing i want to talk about, i just wanna talk about some aspects of my life !! something that's been really bothering me is again my sleep disorder, specifically yesterday. during my music class, i passed out. it was bad because i was trying to hard not to - doing this always makes it worse in the end. i was out for a while, gaining conciousness a couple times, unable to move, before falling back. when i fully woke up, there were two older students in my class, we were doing something completely different and everyone was staring at me. the idea that people saw me passed out made me uncomfortable, but what was even worse was the fact that i was unconsious, meaning i was vulnerable. it reminded me of things, and i felt so bad. i went to the nurse, and i stayed there for the last hour of the day. after i spoke to the nurses about my brother and cats and university, they began having conversations with some teachers. i listened in, not in a weird way, there just wasn't much else to do. so i listened, and i love hearing those kinds of conversations. speaking about their families and holidays and experiences, it's so comforting. it makes people who seem heartless feel so much more real, especially when it's authority figures i dislike. i don't know, i just like it.

but anyway, my day today. i got dressed and hid in my room for a while because there are builders around the house and i didn't wanna say hi to them (￣︿￣) soo i've been working on my rhcp post ( go check it out !! ) and just cleaning up my website in general. what i really need to be doing is cleaning my room because the estate agent is coming,, i'm moving house and i'm not too happy about it.

i LOVE my house. i love my town, i love the shops here and how everyone recognises me, i love the park next to my house and i love my neighbourhood. we moved here from london, a city i cannot bring myself to like. that's why this house is so special for me, it's so refreshing living somewhere so much slower. i mean,, moving house might be nice. it's 10 minutes away from my school compared to 40 it takes to drive from here. also, i'd be living down the road to my friend ! the only problem i have is that i haven't even seen the house yet and my dad has put in a request to buy it, i also just get scared of new environments. ALSO SINCE IT'S SO CLOSE TO SCHOOL I MIGHT SEE PEOPLE WHO GO THERE OUTSIDE HDSGKMHDGSKM (；￣Д￣)

anyway the rest of my day !!! i went outside ( shocker ) and went to the town centre with my sister. this is the longest time i've spent alone with just her in a while, and it was really nice. when i was her age, i always wanted an older sister. i worry that sometimes she feels like i'm not even there, because i'm quite distant from my family. that's why i tried to make today special. first we went to claire's and i got some extensions and these black skull earrings but I FUCKING LOST ONE OF THEM SO I CAN'T EVEN WEAR THEM !! there goes £6 out of my slipknot fund for nothing, but really sometimes things are lost and though it's really annoying it's okay.

then we went to primark and i got a pickle rick shirt,, we also went to some off brand poundland to get a comb. then we went to the record store and i looked at some cds ( while my sister admired the ghost shirts ) and there was A MAN. there's this blonde guy with long hair and a black and grey striped shirt and baggy trousers and arm warmers so i'm like " ohh okay " and then GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. I COULDN'T REACH THE CDS AND HE GOES " oh which one do you want ? " and so i go " uhh the black one ( adore by tsp ) and he hands it to me and goes " oh cool i saw them the other day they were in glasgow " WHAT. MY FRIEND WAS AT THAT CONCERT. WHAT THE HECK. anyway this blog post acts as an official invite to our wedding soo yeah (´ω｀*)

for lunch me and my sister bought a pizza, and we sat on a bench looking over at the river to eat it. it was so peaceful, other than the people on jetskis who were also enjoying the river. we wondered what people thought about when they came by the railing and stared at the river. i asked her what she thought about and she said " what i'm doing with my life ",, though she's 10 i was thinking the same thing too so i can't blame her. oh and a butterfly landed on me !! i had a perfect day today, but i was still pretty irritated afterwards,, that's just what a long day does you know ? summer's coming soon, i'm very excited for it. thanks for reading this post ( ´ ▽ ` ) ♡